First brake out of self

Still,there's a scream,echoing of agony within,for the splittered life i didn't asked for,,I am so disappointed,and tired at being clothing this soul,with one step in the nothing,one in just memorie,,I try to fall in tears,hide my face in my hands,hunting my inner fears,,but there is noone answering me,so i rip my eyes,there's no need for them,when can not rip my pain inside,or even reach its end,,I want to drown therein,touch it,feel it all,,but seems just hidden,,even for me,,,

I fall,i throw my self down to face this ground under my feet,,nail with insanitys limit,my fingers bloody,digging in the stone,,What am i trying to reach,,braking my nails,braking my soul,braking my nothingness's silence that now have got a name,,This rapid anguish of a scream,suffocated drowned,extincted into this endless space of nothing,tear me up within,,,I feel sudden,how i touch this cement's sense of pain,with every nerve in my fingertips,,i dye it alive,,As i fall down even deeper down in its cruel cold,my shape of unitary dissolves,falling to pieces down,,I want to scream,struggle against,but cant get even a word over my dry sore lips,when sees my helpless lost soul,battle the fate to drown,in my rage rapacious blood,,It is trying to breathe in the annihilating grip of ground,trying to scream,,but all it gets is the lungs filled of roots of this stone,,and the taste of my blood,,,

What's left therein this darkness,when all have died again,now into the silence,and just pieces left of me,,I find my self still sitting there,with teared up fingers,still digged into this now so dead solid cementfloor,,Wondering,if it was just a scream,an echo of memorie,or maybe a loss of longnings,deepburied within,,However it's just debris and splinters,withered and without,any wrath of abilitys to rearise,,I'm just feeling nothing,but the emptyness,when picking up the pieces,for what reason i aint get,,I just feeling,lonely and without,even numb in pain,for my brutal ravaging,into this prison,out,of stone,,I just feeling nosense,noever shade emotions,when even numb for knowledge,why my lips,moists of something salt,,Reaching up my fingertips,to touch,this so new and soft,,,Wondering,am i really liven still,when feel just depravition to embrace me,,nothing,when i fall down a final time,into that floor once more,,with a broken soul,,with a broken will,,with even,broken memories,,,.


23~March~2007